Not maybe, not tomorrow, not someday, right now, at this very moment, I’ve realized something. I need you, I admire you, and I want you.
No more maybes or i don't knows, tomorrow or someday you'll love me. If it's not now, there won't be a later. If you don't love me now, you're not going to decide to love me out of no where. I keep clinging on to even the least bit of hope you give me. I want to wait for you because i do love you. I do, I'd defend you even for the times you've hurt me. I bring out the truth in hoping to face it but it's not going to change anything. It's always going to remain like this and that's when i need to learn to walk away. Walk away because i learned that i want a love that's now. Even if it won't be now, i want to know that i will find a love and that person will love me when they find me. Right then and there. Not, i know i love you and i can treat you right but i don't know why i don't and I'm going to hold back cause I'm scared. We are all scared. Sometimes you have to decide how much that person is worth to you and put all bullshit aside to take a chance. I just want someone who will take a chance on me. That falling for me is fucking scary but they'll do it, not holding back because even if they might get hurt, they realize that life is all about taking risks. And here i am, trying to prove that to him all along that he can trust me when he hasn't even asked for it. Just trying and trying to convince him. I'm done convincing. Not that i don't want him anymore but because i don't want him to want me only because i want him. I want him to want me even if i didn't want him because i intrigued him. I don't care if none of this makes sense, at least they are my thoughts and how i feel. These words that are coming out of me in hopes that he'll hear me but that's the thing. We talk alot, or at least i talk alot in what i want even when it's not about me. I just don't think he ever comprehended any of it because he was either preoccupied with her in his mind or he's too afraid to love again. I don't blame him, but it gets frustrating to put up with the mistakes of someone else. Or maybe he really just didn't love me all along.
When you've said all you could say, there is nothing more you could do
